72. Why agencies (and people) struggle to prioritize themselves over others
And how to put yourself first — for at least a minute or two
It is a not-so-hidden secret that some of the most creative agencies in the world have some of the most boring websites.
You’d think it might be the opposite, but when you’re so busy making amazing websites and award-winning campaigns for others (your clients, who pay you), there is neither time nor brainspace to do the same for yourself. Putting others first is obviously not a bad strategy for a services business—in fact, it is a most essential strategy—but the FOMO of doing creative work for everyone else before doing anything nice for yourself is bound to get old. We agencies want nice things, too!
(Go figure: we are working on a new website for Bonfire. Ours is not boring per se, but it is definitely untouched since we launched it in 2023.)
And it’s not just agencies that struggle to prioritize themselves. It happens to people everywhere, at work and at home, in jobs and in relationships. You name a situation, and there is probably someone—often, me—who is self-sacrificing to an extreme. Of course, sometimes this selflessness is purposeful and admirable, but when left unchecked, it can become an avalanche of burnout and resentment. Stop me if any of these sound familiar:
You, the helpful employee, volunteer to collaborate on someone else’s project, which means your projects get shelved or pushed to after-hours work.
You, the people manager, encourage everyone on your team to maximize their use of vacation days while you stay back to cover for everyone.
You have never used your professional development or started a passion project or even organized your Google Drive because you always tell yourself you’ll “get to it later.”
Investing in personal pursuits, hobbies, projects, and goals is a major part of developing one’s creative practice. Not only do you get the chance to learn new skills or grow your abilities, you get to create work that is uniquely, satisfyingly yours. Of course, it’s easier said than done.
Why we struggle to prioritize ourselves
It’s not just about being busy—it’s about how we are wired to think about productivity and value. Many of us equate productivity with output for others, seeing our worth in what we contribute to external goals rather than internal fulfillment. And when we do try to prioritize ourselves, guilt often sneaks in, making us feel selfish for putting our own needs first. (The reality, of course, is that successful, balanced people are the ones who invest in themselves, too.)
Doing stuff for yourself is hard for a lot of reasons.
Who has the time? As a business co-owner, my days are full with things like client work and Googling “what is a W9 form.” You can’t spell “business” without “busy” (sorta). The same goes for our personal lives, which seem to fill the hours to the brim with no room for left over.
Who has the energy? Even if we do happen to spare an hour or two, there’s no guarantee that we’ll be in the mood to do creative work.
The work (for others) never ends. People need things, emails keep coming, and our to-do lists know no end. This is, of course, where boundaries come in (as you’ll read below), but in a pre-boundaries state, the flood of tasks can be overwhelming.
Self-sacrifice is lionized in certain circles of leadership. We are taught that “leaders eat last” and that servant leadership is an admirable quality. If taken too far, these ideas can become burdens for leaders who never do find a way to justify investing in themselves.
So what is a person to do about it?
The answer isn’t to stop helping others altogether. It’s to create a more sustainable balance—one where prioritizing yourself doesn’t come at the expense of others, but rather enhances your ability to be present, creative, and effective in the long run. Here are a few ways to work toward that goal:
1 - Note: Investing in yourself is NOT selfish
Many of us have been conditioned to think that spending time on ourselves is indulgent. (Me: raises hand, acknowledges childhood.)
But research suggests the opposite: taking time for personal growth, creativity, and self-care leads to greater productivity, job satisfaction, and overall well-being. According to a Harvard Business Review study, employees who take time for personal growth and creative pursuits perform better at work and experience lower stress levels. It’s the classic “put your oxygen mask on first” principle—if you’re burned out, you’re no good to anyone else.
Think about it: when you’re creatively fulfilled and personally energized, you bring more to the table in every aspect of your life. It’s not selfish—it’s strategic.
2 - Determine what’s urgent (for others) and what’s important (for you)
The Eisenhower Matrix is a simple but powerful tool for prioritization and one that we often recommend for the marketing teams that we advise. It categorizes tasks into four quadrants:
Urgent & Important (do it now)
Important but Not Urgent (schedule it)
Urgent but Not Important (delegate it)
Neither Urgent nor Important (eliminate it)
Most of the time, the work we do for others falls into the urgent category, while the work we do for ourselves languishes in “important but not urgent.” According to Eisenhower, we are supposed to schedule this important-but-not-urgent work. The big problem, of course, is that we schedule it for later and then keep re-scheduling because more urgent work crops up.
Which brings me to point #3:
3 - Literally schedule a block of time in your day for YOU
If you don’t carve out time for yourself, no one else will do it for you. Block time in your calendar as if you were your own client or as if your teammate had asked for 60 minutes of your time (which you’re always happy to give them, right?). Whether it’s updating your website, working on a side project, or just taking a moment to breathe, make it a non-negotiable part of your schedule.
(And I do mean literally put it on your schedule.)
3 - Set boundaries and stick to them
If you’re always available, you’ll always be busy. Setting clear boundaries—whether that means not checking email after a certain time (my window closes at 4:00 p.m. so I can eat by 5:00 p.m., which even I admit is a little absurd), protecting deep work time, or simply saying “no” more often—helps ensure you don’t constantly deprioritize yourself.
Boundaries are not just about saying no; they’re about making conscious choices about where your energy goes. A boundary, as they say, is something that YOU will do and requires nothing of the other person. Communicating these boundaries clearly to colleagues and clients can prevent misunderstandings and help reinforce the importance of your personal time. It can be as short and sweet as, “Hey, if you aren't able to get that back to me by 3pm, I will pick it back up tomorrow instead of today.” Remember: protecting your time is not about being unavailable; it’s about being intentional.
4 - Create accountability for your own projects
We meet deadlines for clients because there are external expectations. But personal and internal projects? Those are easy to push aside. Try creating accountability by:
Setting internal deadlines (and treating them like real deadlines)
Assigning a team member or peer to check in on progress
Publicly committing to an update (if you tell people it’s coming, you’re more likely to follow through)
It doesn’t all have to be about you (but some of it should)
Being a servant leader or a self-sacrificer isn’t a bad thing. But when taken to an extreme, it can lead to burnout and a loss of creative energy.
Sustaining creativity and motivation requires balance. Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean neglecting others—it means ensuring you have the capacity to continue serving them effectively.
It’s okay to prioritize yourself. In fact, it’s necessary. As Audre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” And if you want to keep doing great work for others, you have to take care of yourself first.
Over to you
How do you strike a balance between doing work for others and doing work for yourself?
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